What does resting really mean?
Just Being, not Doing
When did you last take a break to just rest? Not read, not watch TV, not chat with a friend over coffee – simply resting.
Maybe stretching out on your sofa, giving your eyes a little break.
Or pausing on a park bench to admire the cherry blossoms above you.
Or sitting on the beach, listening to the waves crashing.
Or cuddling up with a furry friend, their purrs vibrating against your chest.
I’ll hazard a guess that it’s probably been a while.
Hi, I’m Holly - certified coach, Breathworks mindfulness facilitator and author of Zestful Zen. My mission is helping you to lead a more mindful, meaningful life, full of zest and energy, complemented by a calm, zen mind. Join the supportive Zestful Zen community today. 💖✨ 1
Growing mindfully
For nearly a year now, I’ve been training as a mindfulness teacher. It’s a slow and steady journey of deepening my practice, and embodying mindfulness.
Along the way, I’ve been certified as a Breathworks Mindfulness Facilitator (qualified to teach short courses and provide workplace-based support).
I’ve put my knowledge gained to good use: personally (in my practice) and for others – providing workshops and courses for my colleagues.
Through my training, I’m continually learning, growing and gaining insights. There are regular aha moments and wake up calls.
Like last week, when I wrote about realising that I’d fallen back into the exhaustion funnel and needed to restore the sustainers in my life.
So, resting has been front and centre of my mind lately.
And yet…
Pacing, not racing
One of my assignments this month was keeping a Pacing Diary2. This is a core practice from the Breathworks Mindfulness for Health course (one of the courses I’m training to teach).
I won’t delve into the detailed practice here, but the basic concept is tracking your activities throughout the day, observing and recording (scoring) their impact on your pain levels or fatigue, and any muscle tension.
It’s designed to support people living with chronic pain and health conditions. Trainees like me, who are fortunate not to suffer ill health, substitute monitoring stress levels, along with muscle tension.
After doing this for a full week, you evaluate how different activities affect you: what increases/decreases your pain or stress, and by how much.
You then use a formula to calculate the minimum duration (baseline) for activities without causing pain/stress, and experiment with this, to pace yourself in daily life.
Rest vs. relaxation
For the most part, my results didn’t surprise me.
As I’ve deepened my mindfulness practice and become more aware of my body, I’ve understood that my stress often manifests physically (muscle tension, poor sleep) and that my main stressor is my 9-5.
But one thing about this exercise did shock me.
I discovered that I don’t rest.
I do restful activities. I meditate. I do yoga. I take walks in the park. I read books, watch TV, cook, go to the cinema, visit galleries…
But I never just take a rest, without doing something. If I’m lying down, it’ll be to meditate or read a book. I’m always doing something, unless I’m asleep.
Throughout the whole week of recording my activities, this hadn’t dawned on me.
It was only when I read the scoring guidance at the end, with a worked example, that I realised the “REST” category was just that – only rest.
Not relaxing with a book, not listening to a podcast, not watching TV. JUST REST.
It slightly blew my mind. After my initial shock wore off (and my worry that I’d messed up the assignment), my brain quickly seized on an explanation (or justification…?)
Of course I didn’t have any rest periods! I don’t have a chronic health condition. So…I wouldn’t need to “just rest”. Right?
Restful activities were my equivalent break, as someone who experiences stress. That was enough!
But I wonder. Is that true? Maybe we all need some pure rest. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes.
I’ll probably discuss this conundrum with my mindfulness mentor when we review my diary.
In the meantime, I’ve been experimenting with rest. Just lying on the sofa for a few minutes, with my eyes closed. Or chilling with my kitties – without my Kindle in hand.
And I’ve got to say, it feels pretty damn good.
Questions for self-reflection or journalling ✍️
When did you last rest, without doing something else?
What does rest mean to you?
How do you spend your downtime? Is it more Doing or Being?
How can you find space for more rest and relaxation?
Now take action 🎯
Take a moment to reflect on how you use your time. Are you always doing?
If you’d find it helpful, for a few days keep a note of when you rest or relax. How much time do you spend resting or relaxing?
If it’s little to no time, does this surprise you? How do you feel about it?
Consider whether you can spend some time just being. Even if it’s only 5 minutes a day.
Start small - if you’re going to read a book, spend a minute just sitting before you open it. Or pause for a minute before you turn the TV on.
Give yourself grace - don’t turn rest into another task to achieve. Take action with kindness and compassion towards yourself.
Share your perspective ✨
I’d love to hear your reflections on rest, relaxation, and just being. Do you have enough rest in your life? How do you chill out? Let’s have a conversation in the comments or subscriber chat. 💬
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If you’d like to learn how to keep a Pacing Diary, read Mindfulness for Health.
I really liked the voice over. I always listen to substack articles while reading them, if there’s the option. So it’s lovely to hear your real voice.
Interesting task, I might do this. I don’t think I just rest much at the moment. I wrote about this a few months ago. I was resting, just doing nothing every day then. But then life catches up, things change, routines change and things get lost along the way. So will be interesting to note how long I actually am resting.
Actively resting is so hard to do! Single tasking is almost impossible, but we need to do it, Holly. Thanks for the reminder.