Have you sprung an energy leak?
Spotting the holes and plugging them intentionally
This voiceover is an audio version of the Weekend Read essay below. Please forgive any verbal fumbles or background noise, especially cat miaows!
Do you sometimes get to the end of the day, week, or month and just feel wiped?
Me too.
Back in April, I wrote in about falling into the exhaustion funnel and realising that I’d let the drainers in my life outweigh the sustainers that give me pep and purpose.
I’ve been gradually rebalancing things, but it’s an ongoing effort to get back to 100%.
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5 Types of energy drains
One of my little daily pleasures is listening to Susie Moore’s podcast, Let It Be Easy.
Most episodes are only 5 minutes long and they pack a punch, often dispensing succinct advice I needed to hear.
Recently, I tuned into 5 Big Energy Leaks That No-One Told You About, which immediately resonated with my current focus on reducing the drainers in my life.
Susie set out 5 ways in which we unnecessarily let our energy leak away:
Over-explaining our choices to others.
Feeling compelled to correct people’s misunderstandings about us.
The mental clutter of nagging unfinished tasks.
Giving unlimited access to energy vampires.
Feeling guilty about resting.
I’d never thought of grouping my drainers in this way and it prompted plenty of self-reflection.
Which categories of energy leaks are most prominent in your life?
Right now, I feel like it’s 3, 4 and 5 for me.
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The mental clutter of nagging unfinished tasks
Mental load is by far my biggest energy drain, especially as perimenopause brain fog starts to bite.
I bet women in my age bracket can relate to those perplexing moments when you wonder why you went into a room…
I love how Susie describes mental clutter: “like having all the tabs on in your brain and then you're like, where is that music coming from?”
As I gear up to finish my job, handover to my replacement, and move countries, it sometimes feels like my to-do-list stretches impossibly to eternity.
But this week, a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders when I finally wrapped up a recruitment campaign. It’s amazing the relief I feel without this hanging over me.
I’ve realised that I can’t finish it all. As Susie suggests, I need to “decide, delegate or delete”. I’m not Wonder Woman and it’s okay to admit that I can’t do everything.
So, I’m prioritising the most important things that have the greatest impact. The rest can be paused, passed on, or punted. Not every task is worthwhile!
Acceptance and “letting go” has reduced my mental load and I feel much better.
(Side note: I bet I’m not the only one out there who finds emptying their mailbox the most satisfying part of leaving a job…right?!)
Giving unlimited access to energy vampires
As Susie puts it, “Not everyone deserves you, your time, your energy, your attention.”
I’d go a bit further and say not everything deserves your attention either – linking in with the mental clutter point above.
This year, I’ve become better at setting boundaries with people who drain my energy.
I limit contact to small doses when I’m feeling sufficiently energised and I don’t feel bad about turning down invitations when I need to.
I’ve been less good at saying no to draining tasks, where my sense of responsibility and my collegiate attitude gets in the way.
But my imminent departure deadline has helped me to prioritise and decline requests, keeping to a more realistic and manageable workload.
I just need to carry this attitude forward into my next role!
Feeling guilty about resting
I wouldn’t say I feel guilty about resting. And I don’t feel the need to explain why I’m resting (probably because I live alone).
My problem is I simply don’t rest, as I was shocked to discover while completing a pacing diary for my mindfulness teacher training.
It wasn’t something I’d been aware of until that lightbulb moment. I was always on the go, always doing something, even if that something was a “relaxing” activity.
Since making this discovery about myself, I’ve tried resting more. And I mean genuine rest. Noticing that I’m tired and just sitting or lying down and doing nothing.
When you realise you’ve been ignoring all the signals from your body, and you start listening, the transformation can be surprising.
Less doing, more being feels good.
Self-Justification
The other two energy leaks aren’t really an issue for me:
Over-explaining our choices to others.
Feeling compelled to correct people’s misunderstandings about us.
I’m not sure why, but I’ve never worried about other people’s opinions of me or had the urge to correct them.
Perhaps it’s a personality trait, or perhaps I feel secure in my values and how I live.
I’ve always felt that my choices are for me to make, and if others don’t get them, that’s okay.
Likewise, if people don’t warm to me, or they misjudge or don’t understand me, that’s okay too. Maybe I’m not for them. Some people we just never click with.
Yes, it’s nice to be be liked. But I can’t control other people’s opinions of me, only my reaction to their opinions.
Of course, if a misunderstanding hurt someone, I would listen and try to explain my perspective on the situation.
But I know that I live my life according to my values and ethics. My intentions are good and I take care in my communications and relationships too.
This gives me confidence and I rarely feel the need to justify or clarify my actions.
So I guess I can save my efforts for countering my other energy drains!
What drains you?
I found it helpful to reflect on Susie’s 5 categories and evaluate which types of energy leaks are more prevalent for me.
Why not grab a cuppa, listen to the episode and try this exercise too?
I think I’ll return to this exercise periodically (maybe quarterly or every 6 months?)
And when I have a bit more breathing space after my move, I’ll do some brainstorming to see if I can discover other patterns and categories in my life. Join me?
Self-reflection and journal prompts ✍️
How is the balance between sustainers and drainers in your life?
What are the greatest energy leaks in your life, right now?
How can you reduce them, or limit their impact?
How have you overcome energy leaks in the past? What did you learn?
Share your perspective ✨
I’d love to hear your reflections on energy leaks, sustainers and drainers. Do any of these categories resonate with you? What helps you plug energy leaks and say no to drainers?
Let’s have a conversation in the comments. 💬
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