Nourish to Flourish: Avoiding the Exhaustion Funnel

Keeping the sustainers in your life to outweigh the drainers

Lately, I’ve found myself drained of energy, falling back into bad old habits: skipping gym classes, ordering takeaway, slumping on the sofa binging boxsets, my creative inspiration depleted.

Maybe you’ve noticed that I haven’t published my essays in their usual Saturday morning slot, that my Notes are a bit erratic, and I’ve not been reading my favourite publications and engaging in the comments.

It’s frustrating. Right when I want to be firing on all cylinders, writing, creating, building my business and preparing for my return to the UK, my zest has deserted me.

What gives?

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Hi, I’m Holly - certified coach, Breathworks mindfulness facilitator and author of Zestful Zen. My mission is helping you to lead a more mindful, meaningful life, full of zest and energy, complemented by a calm, zen mind. Join the supportive Zestful Zen community today. 💖✨ ¹

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I’ve fallen into the exhaustion funnel. Again.

I first learned about the exhaustion funnel on my Breathworks Mindfulness for Stress Course (which I’m now training to teach). It was conceptualised by Professor Marie Åsberg and is explained in Gary Hennessey’s book The Little Mindfulness Workbook.

To illustrate the idea through my own life:

Things were ticking along nicely last year. I had a good exercise routine. I enjoyed batch-cooking nutritious meals at the weekend with the music pumping. I was meditating every morning.

I saw my friends regularly, in Brussels and London and had quality time with my boyfriend. I got intellectual stimulation from my mindfulness facilitator training. I spent time in nature. Life was good.

And then, as we say in the UK, “things went tits up”.

First, my Mum’s accident, illness and passing away plunged me into bereavement, but alongside that, the frantic need to DO: to arrange her funeral, write her eulogy, sort all the paperwork, go through her things, and on and on.

Naturally, normal life went on hold for several weeks while I sorted things in Northern Ireland. No time for fun when you’ve got utility companies to call.

Then back to work in Brussels. I got the usual platitudes from colleagues, but also an obvious expectation that I’d clear my backlog and get the work done, in what turned out to be a peak period.

Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

Hello obligations, goodbye fun!

And this is where the problem began.

Faced with work overload and piles of life admin, the first things to get jettisoned are usually the “non-essentials”.

It started in small ways. I told myself “I don’t have time for Zumba tonight, I need to work late to meet that deadline”.

Or “I’d love to go see that exhibition at the weekend, but I need to fill out those forms”. Or “I need finish that report by 10 am, so I’ll skip meditation this morning.”

As each week ended, I found myself a little more exhausted, and maybe sad, frustrated, or even resentful.

Falling into a vicious spiral

Day by day, the effects compounded:

• I found myself cancelling Saturday Zumba (my all-time favourite workout) because I was too tired to face it.

• Or ordering takeaway because I didn’t have the energy to start cooking (even though it would be faster!)

• Before I knew it, I’d ditched most activities and healthy habits that nourish me.

Therein lies the Catch-22 of the exhaustion funnel:

You drop the things that nourish you, while you plough on with things that stress you. And every time you drop a “sustainer” you feel even more exhausted.

So, what do you do? You guessed it! Yet another “non-essential” gets the chop so that you can use your last few energy reserves to keep delivering.

Eventually, life is full of drainers, with no sustainers to keep you going.

An illustrative pathway to burnout

The exhaustion funnel is a helpful illustration for conceptualising burnout.

• At the top of the funnel, you have a broad, full life, in balance: hobbies, family, fun with friends, stimulating work, exercise, and so on.

• As you begin to discard “sustainers”, under pressure, your life gradually becomes narrower, pared back to only obligations: the “daily grind”, housework, caring responsibilities…

• Eventually, you find yourself at the bottom of the funnel, utterly depleted and burnt out.

Perfectly imperfect. I had waaaay more fun drawing than making a Canva graphic.

Stopping the tumble down the funnel

So how can you beat this vicious cycle?

The first step is awareness – checking in with yourself.

I’ve had a nagging voice in the back of my mind the last month or two, that I’ve been ignoring. But a few things set off alarm bells for me recently:

• The loss of my creative spark – feeling blank when I sat down to write.

• Realising I was consistently eating at my desk – something I consciously don’t do to role model for colleagues.

• Frequent back and shoulder pain – my stress usually manifests in muscle tension and physical pain when I’m trying to suppress it.

• And the final straw that woke me up – when I almost skipped a coaching CPD session in favour of continuing to slog on a thankless work project that I’m hating.

Nearly missing something that is really important to me was the lightbulb moment. It made me realise I was back in the funnel and needed to climb my way out.

Nature nourishes me. Photo by author.

Nourish to flourish

Now that I’m aware of the problem, self-compassion is key, as I gradually reintroduce self-care into my life.

So today, instead of leaping straight to my laptop, I:

• Had a leisurely, healthy breakfast in my local cafe.

• Cracked open

  Selina Barker
  ’s Goodbye 2024, Hello 2025 journal and dug deep on what matters to me, and what I really want from this year.

• Committed not to “should” on myself, as

  Jillian Bybee
  reminds us: so when I felt hungry, instead of powering through to finish this post ASAP, I took my time in the kitchen and cooked myself a tasty lunch then came back refreshed.

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If reading this post has made you think, “huh, maybe I’m inside the exhaustion funnel too…” then take a moment to reflect on the prompts below and check out the suggestions in Now take action.

And if I can emphasise one message to take away: self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

You matter. Don’t feel bad about putting yourself first, and giving yourself grace.

Questions for self-reflection or journalling ✍️

• How does your balance feel right now between drainers and sustainers?

• Do you have enough fun, play and satisfaction in your life?

• What nourishes you and helps you to flourish? What do you want more of?

• Are there any sustainers that you haven’t done in a while? How can you bring them back?

Now take action 🎯

• Take some time to reflect on how you’re feeling, maybe using the prompts above.

• Make a list of your sustainers - the things that bring joy and give you energy. Then list the drainers - the things you don’t enjoy, that sap your energy.

• Compare these lists - which is longer? Reflect more deeply - do some drainers take more time or energy than others? Which items have a greater or more prolonged impact? (Positive or negative.)

• Gradually (re)introduce sustainers into your life. Start small and build up. For example, start with 5 minutes of meditation before bed. Then add half an hour of a good book after work. Or a gym class or dinner with friends.

• Consider whether you can turn any drainers into sustainers. For example, listening to music or a podcast while doing the ironing.

• Ask for help and seek support when you need it.

• Take action with kindness and self-compassion. Don’t “should” on yourself or turn self-care into another obligation.

• Take it slowly, give it time, and notice the impact: observe how you feel as you gradually build sustainers into your life. Adjust as needed.

Share your perspective ✨

I’d love to hear your reflections on exhaustion, sustainers and drainers. How do you keep the joy in life amidst obligations? What helps you prioritise self-care? Let’s have a conversation in the comments or subscriber chat. 💬

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