What's so wrong with just resting?

A call to arms: disconnect from work in your downtime!

Mindfully mad

Headspace made me angry this morning. Not the result you normally expect from a mindfulness app. And certainly not a reaction I’ve had to it before.

I’m one of the faithful. I tune in every day – do my mindful breathing, listen to The Wakeup (a short podcast excerpt), and then a brief guided meditation.

Normally, this helps to ground me for the day ahead and edge me out of sleep into the big, bad world with a sense of equanimity.

Not so much today! Instead, I was mad. Then bewildered and sad. Did my sleepy brain really hear what I thought it did...?

The source of my disquiet? An innocuously titled episode of The Wake Up: ‘The “I Didn’t Do Enough” Weekend Trap.’ ¹*

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Hi, I’m Holly - certified coach, Breathworks mindfulness facilitator and author of Zestful Zen. My mission is helping you to lead a more mindful, meaningful life, full of zest and energy, complemented by a calm, zen mind. Join the supportive Zestful Zen community today. 💖✨

Disclosure: To support my solopreneurship dreams, posts may contain affiliate links, where I get a small commission at no cost to you. I only share items I genuinely believe you’ll enjoy.

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Happy hustling

Before I clicked play, I had a preconceived notion of the advice I’d hear. Reassurance that it’s okay not to ram your weekend full of activity. That downtime is meant to be just that. Certainly, that work should wait until Monday.

But that wasn’t the premise. Instead, the focus was on having a “balanced” “complete”, “fulfilling” and “satisfying” weekend. Namely one that balances rest and productivity, so you don’t feel guilty.

Productivity? Don’t we get enough of that talk at work??

Photo by kris on Unsplash

No rest for the wicked worked up

In the spirit of inclusivity, I know not everyone works 9-5, Monday to Friday. For some people, weekends are workdays, and they have other days as downtime.

And some of us, like me, have side hustles. So we choose to give up part of our downtime for our personal projects. Plus of course, for solopreneurs especially, the line around working hours and days can be quite blurry.

But that’s not who this advice was aimed at. Nope, it was targeting those who suffer from the “Sunday Scaries”, i.e. anxiety about returning to work on Monday.

So yeah, this episode was for people whose weekends are really weekends. Which begs the question, why do we need to be productive on our days off?

I’m all about balance, but the way I see it, I achieve that through working effectively when I’m working, then being free to rest and rejuvenate in my downtime.

That doesn’t mean lazing around 24/7 – active rest is just as important as passive rest (for a great explainer on this, read

Jillian Bybee

’s post You Probably Have the Wrong Idea About Rest.)

But it does mean giving myself a real break, mentally, from work.

Grinding, not grounding

One suggestion that particularly jarred for me was to spend an hour replying to emails as a grounding practice.

While I can understand the idea behind this tip (that going into your work week prepared for what’s ahead might reduce Sunday stress/anxiety), it makes me mad and sad that this is necessary.

Why should we use our own time to catch up on tasks for our employer?

Side note: This isn’t a personal attack on the podcast host, and I don’t mean it to come across as criticism of her. I’m angry at the society we live in that normalises overwork and burnout. I think it’s okay to disagree with kindness.

I’m sure she had the best of intentions in dispensing this advice. She was responding to a very real problem: lots of people feel pressured to hit the ground running the second the workweek starts, leading to anxiety on Sunday night.

But I was disappointed that the proposed solution was to allocate a portion of your weekend to work. Rather than say, to reinforce your boundaries or prioritise self-care.

Instead, listeners received a metaphor: to imagine their weekend plans were a grocery list, but with just a few key ingredients for nourishing meals – the essentials.

• Firstly, protein: “the main ingredient to give you strength” (this was where the hour of emailing suggestion came in) – “just enough to make you feel steady without taking over your weekend”.

• Next, carbs for energy (activities that recharge you, like walking or hiking), then something refreshing (like reading a book) and a small treat (TV or a nap).

This may in fact be very helpful advice for people who feel under pressure to be productive 24/7, even when they’re “off work”.

But it makes me desperately sad that this is where our society finds itself - that the answer to work pressure is giving up part of your weekend.

While I agree that that this grocery list is a good mix for life, I have a problem with the implication that our weekends can only be balanced if they also include work.

What’s so wrong with resting? Why such a premium on productivity?

Smokey is a pro at switching off in her downtime. Photo by author, Holly Bailie

Work hard Rest hard

Has our society become so inured to hustle culture that the only way we see of avoiding worrying about work during our weekends is to actually work during our weekends?

When did it become okay for your employer to expect you to do unpaid weekend work just to keep up with the daily grind?

Why are we normalising this?

How can we ever switch off from work if we continually allow it to creep into our free time?

I find the expectation of out-of-hours email responses particularly insidious and feel it reinforces an always-on, always available, 24/7 working culture.

I’m with the French (and several other European nations) on this one, where the “right to disconnect” is now written into law. It might not be law in the UK (yet?), but I’ll try to stick to my guns and keep work for working hours, where I can.

I hope you feel able to as well.

Rest, recharge, rejuvenate

I don’t mean to judge or criticise advice others give. I don’t have all the answers, and I’m definitely out of space in this post (sorry for the lengthy rant!), so I’ll leave my suggestions for another day.

For now, I’ll just say that I hope you find ways to rest, rejuvenate and recharge during your downtime without work intruding - whether that’s at the weekend for those in a Monday-Friday 9-5 role, or on another timeline.

And I hope your rest comes with a helpful dose of self-compassion to overcome any guilt or anxiety about not getting enough done.

Sometimes you just need to be, not do.

Questions for self-reflection or journalling ✍️

• Does work intrude on your downtime? If so, what stops you saying no?

• How can you maintain boundaries to protect your rest space?

• What’s the right balance for you between rest and productivity?

• When do you feel at your most happily productive, without stress?

• What helps you to enjoy your weekend without Sunday Scaries?

Now take action 🎯

• Reflect on the balance in your life between productivity and rest. Does it feel right? If not, what feels off?

• If you feel under pressure to always be on, cut yourself some slack. Peak performance requires rest and resilience - even Olympic athletes have rest days.

• Try out the different types of rest set out in Jillian’s post to see what works best for you - what do your body and mind need right now?

• Offer yourself self-compassion and kindness. Remember - it’s okay to rest! Shout it loudly!

Share your perspective ✨

I’d love to hear your reflections on rest, productivity and work/life boundaries. How do you find balance between work and downtime? What does a great weekend look like to you? Let’s have a conversation in the comments or subscriber chat. 💬

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Ways to connect or work with me 💬

DM me, jump in the subscriber chat, or connect via my website, LinkedIn or Instagram 😁 I offer coaching sessions and mindfulness courses.

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1. I tuned into the full-length podcast episode too, in case The Wake Up excerpt had been taken out of context. While there was more nuance, and a heftier dose of self-compassion, the premise was the same, i.e. normalising doing work in your downtime.