Fortuitous Failure
Finding my purpose and pathway one failure at a time
The following post is part of a Seed Pod collaboration about failure. Seed Pods are a SmallStack community project designed to help smaller publications lift each other up by publishing and cross-promoting around a common theme. We’re helping each other plant the seeds for growth!
Following F**K fate
I’m not a believer in fate really.
I just don’t buy it that our whole life can be mapped out for us, that things are pre-destined, without us having a say in matters.
Where would be the fun in that? I’ll take free will, thank you very much.
But at the same time, I sort of feel like things work out the way they’re meant to…?
Hi, I’m Holly - certified coach, Breathworks mindfulness facilitator and author of Zestful Zen. My mission is helping you to lead a more mindful, meaningful life, full of zest and energy, complemented by a calm, zen mind. Join the supportive Zestful Zen community today. 💖✨ 1
Lucky (losing) breaks
That might seem a contradictory attitude. I guess it’s more that I can find the silver lining in setbacks.
Maybe it’s about my mindset:
I can make opportunities out of losses and disappointments.
I can see how doors closing set me off on different paths, that led me to where I am today.
I’m a generally positive person, who feels gratitude for what I have. And when obstacles appear, I spot lessons they can teach me, and I count my blessings.
The way I see it, it’s fortuitous failure.
Happy hindsight
When I look back over decades, I’ve had a lot of lucky (losing) breaks:
That time I flunked my physics A-level so had to go through “clearing” to get a place at my third-choice university. I made some fantastic friends there and had a wonderful experience. Would it have been the same at my first choice? I doubt it.
That time I didn’t get into a Masters’ programme in Educational Psychology. I dodged a bullet – I couldn’t have coped with the overstretched educational system and would have burned out in no time at all. And I’d have missed out on another four years living in Japan.
Not getting a promotion at the first attempt. Which meant I was free to take an overseas role that came with plenty of leave and abundant travel opportunities.
Multiple times where I wasn’t the chosen candidate in job interviews, so ended up in different roles on other continents. Learning new languages and adapting to the local cultures and cuisines.
That time my body failed me – a benign growth meant I was suspended from my overseas role pending surgery. But this allowed me to support my mum during the early months of her widowhood after my Dad passed away. And I met my boyfriend.
That time my body and mind could no longer cope with work stress. That led me to discover Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and set me on my current path, training as a Breathworks Mindfulness Teacher.
Learning from loss
I guess you could call these failures my “Sliding Doors” moments.
Had I succeeded, my life could have been entirely different, off in some parallel universe. Which I’m sure I’d have made the most of too, ever the optimist.
That’s not to say every failure or loss has been welcome.
I’d certainly not choose to have lost both my parents over the last 5 years. Nor to have had health issues that led to multiple surgeries.
But even these painful experiences have helped make me who I am now, and I’ve grown from them.
They helped me figure out what matters to me most, and to prioritise those things (or should I say people and experiences – it’s rarely “things” that matter to me).
So, I’m going to continue to embrace failure as fortuitous, rather than dwelling on the downside. Because, why not?
Questions for self-reflection or journalling ✍️
How do you view failure - are there any upsides you can spot?
What fortuitous failures can you identify in your life?
What lessons have failures taught you?
How has failure helped you to grow?
Now take action 🎯
Remind yourself that it’s okay to fail! We can’t learn if we don’t try.
Be kind to yourself when things don’t go your way. Wallow a while if you need to.
The next time you fail at something, pause and see if there’s anything you can learn from the failure.
Look back on previous setbacks and try to identify lessons you learned and opportunities that arose as a result.
Share your perspective ✨
I’d love to hear your reflections on failure and opportunities. Have you found any silver linings in setbacks? What different paths have failures opened up for you? Let’s have a conversation in the comments or subscriber chat. 💬
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I loved getting to see a bit of ankle with these personal anecdotes. I hadn’t realised you had traveled so much. I’ve never been to Japan but for some reason I feel it calling me.