Bon voyage and bittersweet goodbyes
Saying sayonara to unfinished business
Do you ever feel torn between excitement at moving forward, and regret at unfinished business? That’s where I’m at right now.
As May draws to a close, I’ve wrapped up my current job, handed over to my successor, and tomorrow I say goodbye to Belgium for good as I move back to London.
It’s a bittersweet moment. I feel as if many things are left undone.
Hi, I’m Holly - certified coach, Breathworks mindfulness facilitator and writer of Zestful Zen. My mission is helping you to lead a more mindful, meaningful life, full of zest and energy, complemented by a calm, zen mind. Come on in and join our supportive community. 💖✨
Expat explorations
I’ve lived abroad for over half my adult life.
Each country has brought adventures, cultural discoveries and new challenges.
When I live overseas, I throw myself into learning as much as I can: getting immersed in the local politics and traditions, travelling off the beaten track where possible.
Usually I feel fully absorbed, that I’ve gotten under the skin of the country - as much as an outsider can, in a limited period. But not this time around.
For three years I’ve had one foot in Brussels and one foot in London, straddling the English Channel, never quite settled in either community. That’s not what I expected.
Leaving on a jet plane
My previous expat experiences were a minimum 8-hour flight away.
I had the benefit of distance from home and the chance to completely throw myself into foreign life. I loved it!
But my perspective and priorities changed in 2020. Living in West Africa during COVID lockdown, I got the call I’d been dreading.
My father had deteriorated quickly after his planned cancer treatment was cancelled due to the pandemic. He’d been admitted to hospital and had only days left.
With commercial airlines grounded, I managed to get the last seat on a repatriation flight - to Brussels, ironically - and from there I got to Northern Ireland, just in time to say goodbye to Dad.
Afterwards, my elderly mother struggled to adjust to widowhood. She became increasingly frail and self-destructive, reliant on my brother’s support.
So, once I finished my job and temporarily moved back to London, I decided that my next overseas role needed to be closer to home, in Europe.
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Home is where the heart is?
That bit went to plan – I secured an upcoming role in Brussels. But along the way, I also picked up a boyfriend and reintegrated into my London friendship group.
When the time came to hop across the channel, I wasn’t ready to let go of “home”.
I’ve had many homes over the years (and I still have my “home-home”, as many of us Northern Irish call our place of origin).
Each place I’ve lived has brought something special, but the common denominator has been people and community: building human connection.
However, with the pull of old friends and romantic ties only a 2-hour train ride away, I didn’t invest in local life here in the way I had in other countries.
Yes, I made friends, but in the “Brussels Bubble” people are always moving on, and with my frequent weekend trips to London I didn’t build the deep relationships I’d forged in other locations.
After years far away, I’m glad I reinvested in my old friendships.
But I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I’d directed some of that effort towards getting to know my Brussels neighbours better instead. Perhaps more magical friendships would have been born.
Exploring inside and out
My last few years have been more of an inner journey than an outward exploration.
Instead of using my spare time for ticking off Belgian bucket-list experiences, I’ve been focused on personal growth.
I’ve gotten certified as a coach, then certified as a mindfulness facilitator, and I’m more than halfway through my mindfulness teacher training (teacher training is waaaaay more intense than facilitator-level).
I’ve spent hundreds of hours studying and completing assignments, rather than socialising or sightseeing.
It’s been incredibly fulfilling following this new path and gaining skills that have positive impact on the people around me.
While it’s worth the investment, it came at a price. As the saying goes, “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything”.
So long, farewell, see you again…
I made a conscious choice to be closer to home this time around, and I don’t regret that for one second.
I saw Mum more often and was able to get home quickly when I needed to at the end.
I’ve also learned a lot about myself as I worked my arse off to build a new career path. And I built strong, loving relationships back home.
But it’s natural that as I say bye-bye to Belgium, I wish I’d had the time and space to see, do, learn and connect more here.
And it’s natural to wonder, “What if...?” Hence the bittersweet goodbye.
Luckily, as my friends keep reminding me – it’s only a Eurostar away and I can come back as a tourist, anytime. 😁🇧🇪
Self-reflection and journal prompts ✍️
What does home mean to you?
How do you feel about goodbyes? Is there something you’d like to say bye to?
What do you want to prioritise, right now? How can you make it happen?
What would you like to add to your 2025 bucket list?
How can you make space for more choice in your life?
Share your perspective ✨
I’d love to hear your reflections on choice, goodbyes, and living overseas. What’s on your bucket list? Any great memories you’d like to share?
Let’s have a conversation in the comments. 💬
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I understand your mixed feelings, Holly. How things turned out in Brussels might have been influenced by distance, but I think it was all about relationships - especially with your parents, but also yourself (and career). We have different priorities at different points in our life. You chose wisely where to spend your time and energy according to them.
This is so interesting about the distance. I often wonder if my life here would be different if I was in Paris vs South for example. It definitely took me a lot longer to get integrated into local community! I really admire you doing that.